In the soft glow of a lava lamp,
once again I scrape and play.



Count the keys with your fingers,
     type and stare blankly,

cut and scrape and play.



          Shivers who wrack my body and mind,
   paraplegic to watch her pass by,

            to know it is destroyed, it would never be,
        ever.



                          Tears will never escape white cells.
             Mock me like patients of a psychiatric ward,


  like pictures of beauty I was never meant to feel.




                                           Movies before me that are only a dream,
             so lower your gaze


                                                     from eyes to hands


     and lying fingers.




                 Hear nothing from no one,
        you are forever gone,
  go walk on cobblestones with blue puddles,
            step and watch your life ripple outwards and away.




    Yes I feel like vomiting.
To consider existence,

             a persistence in a joke,


      pushing and crawling along in a tunnel that collapses around me,



Is there any reason to live in a life dominated by my own fear?

                  Scramble and run and scream at nothing
         nothing except that which does not exist.



What use to subsist neurotic?
                          To raise my eyes to glistening clouds and pretend
          not to think that I will die.
    Smile and watch children in playgrounds and think whatever the fuck I may
  

           but not that the day will come.



                   So why entertain childish fantasies of a life predestined to an end?



     Die now.
      cut and scrape and play.












           [2006-09-25 00:26:46]